Didn't mean to do that
by AthenAltena
Summary: Any film production is difficult and bound to have bloopers, but when you add spirits, monsters and witches into the equation all the more so. Rating for language and some mature themes, spoilers up to volume 12.


A/N: This is what happens when I get insomnia and have just watched Scary Movie 4. Not meant to be taken seriously at all.**  
**

**Watanuki is chased by a spirit, take one**

Watanuki runs away from the monster but trips, and the monster begins to move over him.

**Watanuki (offended):** Hey! Just where do you think you're shoving _that?!_

**Director: **_Cut!_ Monster, we're not in _that_ kind of story!

**Monster (confused):** You mean this isn't La Blue Girl part 3? Damn.

The monster wanders off to find the right production, which is filming down the hall. Watanuki just stares at the camera and makes the "cuckoo" sign with his hands.

**Watanuki meets Yuuko, take three**

Yuuko takes a drag on her pipe.

**Yuuko:** Hitsuzen: A predestined event from which there is not other –

**Watanuki (flatly):** You're on fire.

**Maru and Moro:** Fire! Fire! Mistress is on fire!

Yuuko glances down at her hair and sees that the tip of a lock of hair is indeed aflame.

**Yuuko (irritated):** Oh, son of a…

She blows it out.

**Director: **Cut! We'll have to do that one again.

**Yuuko (casually): **Don't worry, I use enough hair product to keep it this straight that it would have taken an hour to get to my head.

The rest of the cast shake their heads in disbelief.

**Watanuki is being held over the roof of the school by Doumeki**

**Watanuki (shocked): **Blood!

Suddenly Doumeki's hand spasms and he drops Watanuki, screaming, over the side where he is caught by a safety net.

**Doumeki:** Sorry.

He scratches his head and flexes his hand.

**Watanuki (from off screen, outraged):** Shizuka, if you actually kill me during this production I will haunt you! And your children, and your children's children, and…!

**Director:** Cut! And someone get some wire so that doesn't happen again!

**Doumeki and Watanuki with the Ame Warashi, take 5**

**Ame Warashi:** A combo punishment!

She hits them both, but unexpectedly they both fall over and clutch their heads, moaning.

**Director:** Cut! Is that a real umbrella? With a _metal core?_

**Ame Warashi (awkwardly):** Oops. I forgot to get the prop.

**Doumeki:** I know this is slapstick, but in real life that would _really hurt._

**Watanuki (annoyed):**_Would_? It _does_ really hurt!

**Director: **Spare the dramatics for the camera, Kimihiro.In the meantime someone get them some ice.

**Watanuki meets the Zashiki Warashi on the mountain, take 3**

**Watanuki: **You're the Zashiki Warashi…

**Zashiki Warashi:** Oh… Um…

**Director:** Cut! Did you forget your lines?

**Zashiki Warashi (embarrassed): **Um…

**Director: **Do it again! "Oh my, I didn't expect to see you here." Roll Camera!

**Watanuki: **You're the Zashiki Warashi…

Before she can say anything she loses her balance and falls into the water, startling everybody.

**Director: **Cut! On second thought, let's just forget the whole thing and use that. It'll take forever to dry her off anyway in that furisode, and we need some comedy in this parasite story.

**Zashiki Warashi (dripping wet): **I'm sorry… I've only voiced snack food commercials before this!

**Director:** Don't worry, you're mostly unconscious in your next appearance.

**Watanuki and Doumeki look for a counter curse for the spider, take one**

They both see the word monster and sit up quickly, smacking their heads together with a sound not unlike two coconuts hitting. The entire crew, including Yuuko from off screen, begins to laugh.

**Director:** Cut! Did someone get that? We can use that sound as foley for the next Pani Poni Dash!

**Watanuki:** OK, now my headache is officially a migraine…

**Yuuko exits the room after seeing to an injured Watanuki, take 2**

She takes a step forward, but her head is jerked back suddenly. Various cast members, including Doumeki and Watanuki (from inside the room) giggle as they realize that her hair is caught in the door.

**Yuuko (annoyed): **Mother F –

**Director:** Cut! And Yuuko, watch your potty-mouth!

**Yuuko (grumpy):** Fine. And Watanuki, aren't you supposed to be _resting_?

**Watanuki (through the door, trying to suppress laughter):** Sorry.

**Doumeki (glumly):** Can we at least get this fake blood off me? It's starting to clump in my hair and it smells like old paint.

_To be continued... (Maybe) _


End file.
